Last Thursday night I was sitting in bed and the spirit whispered the following to me: "Disciples of Jesus Christ, no matter how faithful, will struggle. The faithful are not exempt from trials, but their faith in the Savior pulls them through their trials. Trials are universal, everyone has them because the Lord is not a respecter of persons (Acts 10:34) and they are part of our mortal existence." I testify that our trials really do bring us closer to our Savior. I am close to Him because I struggle. The struggle really is real. But this struggle is worth it because it brings me closer to my Savior.
The other day on my way home from work I was thinking about spiritual experiences and was pondering the following question: If someone were to ask you to share one of the most powerful spiritual experiences you've had, would you be able to share an experience that happened within the last few months or would you tell an experience that happened years ago, perhaps on your mission?
Now, I of all people am all for the mission stories! Not a day goes by that I don't think of, pray about, and talk about my mission. However, my pondering of this question really made me realize that I want to be having these life changing spiritual experiences my entire life, not only during certain periods of my life.
As I was thinking about this question, I thought: "Well, I had an amazing and powerful spiritual experience las week, but, that's because I struggle." In that very moment I understood the purpose of my struggle. In that very moment I understood why the trial I had been going through and currently am going through was in my life. In that very moment I understood why I had felt crippling and debilitating anxiety just a few weeks prior. In that very moment I understood why the Lord allowed me to feel so weak as to physically drop me to my knees to beg for comfort. It was not for any other reason but to have me come unto Him and stay close to Him.
"And if men come unto me I will show unto them their weakness. I give unto men weakness that they may be humble; and my grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before me; for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make weak things become strong unto them." Ether 12:27, The Book of Mormon
I can now testify with even more surety that the book that holds this scripture is true. Right now I am in the first phase of this scripture, I am being humbled as the Lord shows me one of my greatest weaknesses as He also so mercifully shows me day by day that His grace really is sufficient. It has not been easy, it has been hard not to become desperate and be angry with my Father, but what has made it easier is the sweet spirit that He pours over me when I am willing to pray to Him and be sincere with Him in prayer. I testify that His grace really is sufficient, because it has been for me.
I am patiently waiting for the second part, the promise in this scripture to come to pass. "for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make weak things become strong unto them." I know that this will happen, one day I will be triumphant over my trials but only if I come unto Him and I am faithful unto Him. Elder Jeffrey R. Holland says something so beautiful about the blessings promised to the faithful: "Some blessings come soon, some come late, and some don't come until Heaven; but for those who embrace the gospel of Jesus Christ, they come." I testify that, that is true.
I heard this poem many years ago and then was reminded of it on my mission (you see, I never stop talking about my mission) because we found an old picture frame that had this poem written in it. It is by Mary Stevenson and it reads:
One night I had a dream–
I dreamed I was walking along the beach with the Lord
and across the sky flashed scenes from my life.
For each scene I noticed two sets of footprints,
one belonged to me and the other to the Lord.
When the last scene of my life flashed before me,
I looked back at the footprints in the sand.
I noticed that many times along the path of my life,
there was only one set of footprints.
I also noticed that it happened at the very lowest
and saddest times in my life.
This really bothered me and I questioned the Lord about it.
“Lord, you said that once I decided to follow you,
you would walk with me all the way,
but I have noticed that during the most troublesome times in my life
there is only one set of footprints.
“I don’t understand why in times when I needed you most,
you should leave me.”
The Lord replied, “My precious, precious child,
I love you and I would never, never leave you
during your times of trial and suffering.
“When you saw only one set of footprints,
it was then that I carried you.”
That last sentence is really special to me because I can testify with every fiber of my being that the Lord has carried me in the most difficult times of my life. I had a similar experience to the poem. I was thinking back on my life and thought to myself "how in the world did I go through that? That was so hard!" and it was a beautiful experience when the Spirit testified to me that I have been able to go through trials because the Lord has carried me and strengthened me, and a lot of the times without me acknowledging it.
I'd like to conclude with something Elder Dieter F. Uchtdorf said in a talk a few years ago as He spoke about our Savior, Jesus Christ:"Because He loves you, He will find you. He will place you upon His shoulders, rejoicing. And when He brings you home, He will say to one and all, “Rejoice with me; for I have found my sheep which was lost.” Luke 15:6" "Lost" can mean many things, to me right now, it means "lost" in my trials.
I testify that we have a Living Savior who knows each one of us perfectly. I testify that He carries you and me through our darkest and hardest hours. "The Son of Man hath descended below them all." Doctrine and Covenants 122:8. I testify that if we come unto Christ, we will find peace and will find strength until His promise comes to pass: "then will I make weak things become strong unto them." I testify of the reality of my loving Heavenly Father, His beautiful, Living and Triumphant Son who is the Savior of mankind and of the power of Holy Spirit. I testify that Jesus will come again! True peace and joy are attained only through Him, He is the Prince of Peace and He will bestow that peace upon you and me if we but come unto Him.
In the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.
References:
Acts 10:34 https://www.lds.org/scriptures/nt/acts/10
Ether 12:27 https://www.lds.org/scriptures/bofm/ether/12.27
Elder Jeffrey R Holland's talk: “An High Priest of Good Things to Come” https://www.lds.org/general-conference/1999/10/an-high-priest-of-good-things-to-come?lang=eng
Elder Dieter F Uchrtdorf's talk: "He Will Place You on His Shoulders and Carry You Home" https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2016/04/he-will-place-you-on-his-shoulders-and-carry-you-home?lang=eng
Poem "Footprints in the sand" can be found on google
